Seasons

It’s a beautiful fall day.  Sunny, blue skies and the all the colors of leaves that are trickling to the ground…..a letting go of sorts.  Quite like the cycles of our lives; a time to be born, a time to be grow and time to die.  This letting go effect is front and center for me this morning as I sit and compile pictures for my son’s senior year collage.  It’s true.  We have a graduate this year.  It doesn’t really seem possible.  As I look through his baby photos, I recognize just how young and inexperienced I was as a first time mother.   And now, glancing through senior portraits, I reflect on the 18 years of time that I’ve had to rear this boy.  In just a few short months, we will be launching our son into the world. 


“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

As every week clicks past, we continue to have “last moments;” leaf after leaf fluttering to the ground.  It’s a contrast of feelings. On the one hand, I am ready for him to gain his independence and move into the amazing plans that God has for him.  On the other hand, it is the closing of a chapter that I’ve adored.  Becoming a mother was the greatest gift the Lord has bestowed upon me.  I’ve been wrapped in motherhood for the majority of my adult life.  I can remember, shortly after the birth of my firstborn, telling my mother over the telephone how incredibly happy and satisfied I felt.  Never had I been so full….almost as if mothering is what God had built me for.  It has shaped me as an adult; molded me, chiseled me, tested me, refined me.  There have been days of tear-filled exhaustion alongside days of indescribable joy. Above all, my kids are the product of the love my husband and I share; sacred to just us.   It is for all of these reasons that motherhood is my most treasured gift. 

As I reflect on this chapter of my life, I slowly begin to look toward a new season of my life where my kids begin to leave the nest.  I will always be their mother, but it will begin to look different.   It is a bitter-sweet time for me as I look toward my kids’ future while watching another chapter close.  And so, as these tender years begin to escape me, I begin to look toward God for the next steps He has for me.  What will it encompass?  Beyond moving into a different role as mom, what else will I pursue?  Maybe dreams that I have placed on the back-burner over these last few years. My ministry during these years has been most certainly my kids and marriage.  Where will those efforts shift? 

I’ve always dreamed of writing, speaking or teaching about the life-changing hope of Christ.  This blog is a small start for me. I also continue to have an entrepreneurial spirit as I help alongside my husband in leading our businesses and charitable work.  I pray that the Lord continues to lead me.  These past few years have brought immense color to my life….leaf by leaf, moment by moment.    As these moments slowly change, I look forward to the next season of my life; all the while reveling in the beauty that these child-rearing years have created. 

xo Carre