In 1776, Thomas Jefferson is credited with being the first founding father to refer to our newly formed nation as the United States of America, penned while drafting the Declaration of Independence.  Formerly known as the United Colonies, on September 9th of that same year, the Continental Congress formally declared the new name of its union of colonies to be the United States.  I imagine at the time there were numerous ideas floated and suggested.  The one that was selected, however, was fairly simplistic – United States.  Nothing fancy.  Emphasis was clearly laid on the “unity” of these newly formed colonies that together formed one country.   These colonists had been joined for a common purpose and it would be forever reflected in their country’s name.   

Continued prosperity of the United States depended greatly on its solidarity.  In the case of the colonies, it was solidarity in freedom from British oppression.  Unity is essential to the vigor and strength of any union, whether it is a joining of two, twenty or two-hundred.  In biblical days, a united kingdom was incredibly powerful.  In today’s world, a united marriage, household, organization or country elicits the same sort of power.  When we are unified, we are stronger together, in both mind and body.   Our founding fathers were acutely aware of the importance of unity.  They realized that division from within would jeopardize their strength as a nation.  As time passed, divisions did occur.  Most notably was the the Civil War.  Since then, there have been other divisions around class, race, morality, etc. that have splintered our country.

Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand.”

Matthew 12:25

When I read Matthew 12:25, so many examples run through my mind beyond the formation of our country.  My most immediate application is within my own household.  A unified and peaceful home is quite literally sacred ground to me.  

Over the weekend, my daughter and son ended up in a knock-down-drag-out verbal quarrel.   It was over a very silly incident, nonetheless, it got ugly.  Both of them said things to each other they shouldn’t have and hurt the other one.  After they had both cooled off, I sat with them and we discussed what had happened.  As usual, they were asked to “make it right” with the other, even if it was with arms crossed and lips still pursed.  

It also gave me the opportunity to talk with them about the importance of unity within our family.  You see, this had happened not just between the two of them, but in front of friends they each had over.  Embarrassed they most certainly were when their friends were left downstairs as I summoned both of them up to their rooms to talk….pronto!   The division that had erupted in front of an audience left them feeling ashamed.  As their mom, I recalled the common values we hold as a family. Individuals, yes. But, jointly called together to build our family up in trust and love.  Although they both felt incredibly frustrated with each other, I explained to them that their relationship was foundational to our family.  It was important for them to work to forgive and move forward in unity for the strength of our overarching family.   

I need to pause here for a moment to clarify that I was not suggesting unity at all cost.  Some of you I’m sure are asking what exactly does unity look like?  Does it mean giving someone what he or she always wants?  That was definitely one of my first thoughts.  Do I have to be a doormat, pushing my feelings completely aside?  After all, what is the balance between mercy and judgement in the name of peace?  Oh how I’ve struggled with this question!  

I have found that unity is more easily attained when I look to a person’s intent.  When I step back and evaluate whether someone intended to hurt or offend me, it gives me a much better perspective.  Nine times out of ten, they didn’t intend offense.  This leaves the door open to reestablish unity quickly.   Godly judgement and mercy CAN coexist in these situations.  Judgement confronts offense in love with the goal of coming together for a common understanding.  Mercy is extended in forgiveness for the umpteenth time in an effort to keep peace when your feelings are screaming “no!”   Both point toward unity as the goal.     

Unity is hard work.  As a founding father.  As a spouse.  As a parent with a difficult child.  Or, as an employee with an unbearable co-worker.  There is often a deep internal conflict over whether to trust a person after offense.  As Christians, we are called to Godly unity within our relationships.  For years I had a friend that would routinely point me back to Romans 12:18 when I would call her feeling emotionally injured.  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  And, if you asked her, each time she pointed me back in that direction there was probably a pause of silence from me.  Ouch.  That is not what I felt like doing to say the least.  I thought maybe the verse should have read “If possible, so far as it depends on you, give that person a piece of your mind!”  But, it doesn’t.

Ongoing discord within any union, particularly the home, destroys the power of the union and its members.  At home, it removes the blessing, beauty and strength found within the walls of a healthy loving family.

With that said, there will be times where you’ve done all you can to maintain peace and unity, and it becomes time to walk away.  We are not called to unity if it comes at the cost of sin or harm to ourselves.  It is then that we must hand the baton off to God, leaving Him to do the restorative work needed to heal and restore.  From there, our only job is prayer.  I’ve had two relationships that fall into that category.  One was VERY close to home.  It was heartbreaking and disappointing, but I had done all I could do and it was time for me to walk away from the relationships….at least for now.  Who knows what the future may hold.  In the meantime, continued prayer.

Where can you work to have more unity within your life?  Is it within your marriage, or maybe a friendship?  Maybe it’s as simple as not always having to have the last word.  If we want to have a powerful and impactful life, we must strive for unity within relationships.  One of Satan’s oldest tactics involves creating division where God desires unity.  When we become resolved to stand together, it is in this place that we overcome his efforts to destroy us.